Settling Down (Private)

Sword slowed up for a bit as he heard Tetti trotting to catch up to him, smiling as she'd end up beside him. "My apologies Love, I just really hate caves. And..." he pauses for a moment when he notices the odd scorpion she'd brought along with her. "I see you brought the bug with you..." shrugging, he shook his head and chuckled. "Well I can't blame you I suppose. You did nearly split your head open to get a look at it, no sense in abandoning it. Just try not to lose it on a shelf." Exiting the cave with her, he visibly brightened, cracking his neck as they took their first steps back into the hospital. "Hmmm... I don't suppose we could skip the hospital and desert and teleport back into town Love? Save us a bit of mileage. Just don't warp straight back to the library. I'd like to walk the surrounding area to get familiar with it, and maybe get more at ease with the local populace as well. Unless you have an objection?" Sword looked to her to determine the best course of action, being way out of his element in what he'd be calling his new home for a good while he guessed

"Thought you'd never ask, handsome," Tetti smiles and leans forward, locking lips with him as she does the teleport. They end up in the middle of several tables outside what appears to be a cafe, very nearly knocking a tray out of the magical grip of a changeling mare who'd been taking the food to some customers.
"Dammit, Tettidora!" The mare yelps as she hurriedly rebalances the tray, too fast to have actually seen who'd teleported in.
"Hi Marquess de Dune," Tetti says cheerfully as her lips part from Sword's. "How's the day find you?"
"Excellent, until a certain princess thought it'd be good sport to do a blind teleport into the middle of my cafe during service," the mare responds in a distinctly cultured accent, stepping deftly around Sword and Tetti and laying out meals for a quartet of changelings at one of the outside tables, all looking at Tetti with various variations on curiosity and amusement. "And the last time anyone in my family was a marquess, we were growing lemons in Equestria proper."
Tetti grins at her cheekily and turns to Sword. "Love, meet Marquess Callista de Dune. Her family owns those lemon orchards near the hospital."
Callista sighs but puts on a smile for Sword as she offers him a hoof. "Princess Tettidora knows very well that I have no noble title; kindly just call me Callista."

As Tetti pressed her lips to his, he closed his eyes on instinct, him beginning to get used to her using a kiss as a pre-cursor to a teleportation spell. Opening his eyes, he gave his head a quick shake to clear the fuzziness from his head before examining his surroundings, paying special attention to the irritated mare now (Rightfully so in his mind) berating Tetti for startling her. Seeing her offered hoof, he took it and lightly kissed it before handing it back. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Callista. My name's Sword Symphony. Would you mind if we take a seat?"

Callista blinks with momentary surprise at having her hoof kissed by Sword and her cheeks acquire just a little touch of color. "Well, are you the well-bred stallion." She smiles and gestures to the numerous empty tables. "Take a seat if you'd like. Ponies visiting to sit down, and hopefully order something, is the entire purpose of my business after all."
"Has your family yet smacked some sense into you, Marquess?" Tetti asked as they sat at a nearby table.
"Not since I was Belladonna's age, with similarly gauche mannerisms," Callista replies with a smirk. "I think they surrendered to despair."
Tetti chuckles. "I'm sure. So, what's good?"
"You, at reading and apparently snagging handsome pegasi," Callista replies with a totally serious expression. "Lepi, at art and enjoying life's many pleasures. That delightful Sugary Market at being precious without even being aware of it. I could go on."
"Being around Masquerade has made you snarky."
"No, that's actually the Trio's fault." Callista grins at her. "So, sit, relax, enjoy the sights and sounds and maybe even the scenery. Wave a hoof at me if you need anything."
Tetti immediately raises her hoof and begins waving it.
Callista rolls her eyes. "Do it for real when you're serious," she sighs before turning and trotting into the interior of the cafe.
Tetti puts her hoof down and grins. "In case you didn't guess, love, we're old friends."

Sword smiled and took a seat. "Thank you Callista, although spending a life time amongst royalty has made such gestures second nature." And at Callista's compliment. he himself took on a touch of color, waving his hoof at it. "Thank you, and..." Watching Tetti wave her hoof about like a fool, he facehooves and chuckles. "Yeah I could tell. Now, let have a look at the menu shall we..." Glancing over the menu, he pursed his lips while trying to decide what to order. "Hmmm.... A lotta lemon themed stuff here... ah well, when in..." Sword looks up briefly before continuing. "Scarabi... I think I'll try out a baked lemon pie. And water. With lemon. Which I actually drink even when not in a lemon heavy food establishment."

"It's sort of inevitable, love," Tetti says as she kissed his cheek. "Callista's family are to lemons what the Apple family is to apples. The foundation of their considerable family fortune have always been their lemon groves, and a variety of lemon variants that range from tart to sweet enough to be preferred to sugar for certain confectionary arts because it's both acidic and sweet. Most places to eat are much less lemon-centered but since Callista knows the fruit so very well, she uses it often."
She glances over the menu and grins. "Best thing on the menu is the dry salad. Prickly pear, nogales, and a bunch of other stuff. Extremely tasty, and this cafe is well-known for ti. So love... you'd probably better wave the hoof this time."

"I was never that into apples, except for the hard ciders and slices with caramel dip. And I'll take your word then love. Two dry salads then?" Sword asked as he waved his hoof at Callista, closing the menu and setting it down. "This is certainly going to be interesting having to adjust to a new pallet. I'm guessing since this is an arid environment I'll be sacrificing seafood from my diet?" he asked, slightly depressed at the potential loss of his favorite food type.

"No, but it's something of a luxury," Tetti replies. "There are only two ways to get it fresh: pack it in ice from a fish market and try to outrun the ice melting, or bargain with a friendly nest of rocs that live relatively near to Scarabi. The problem with the second option, though, is that rocs are immense birds and so they catch immense fish and preserving literally three tons of fish is quite challenging. Ice can melt, magical freezing expires, and salt-packing the fish sort of limits how much you can do with it because by the time you pull it out of the salt cake, it's very salty. Smoke-preservation is fantastic... but our lands don't have much in the way of specialized woods like hickory, applewood, and mesquite." She smirks a little. "Already-preserved fish is quite easy but it's not exactly something you cook."
Callista promptly notices Sword waving his hoof and trots over with a smile. "I take it that the two of you are ready to order then?"
"Eeyup."
Callista sighs. "I'm asking Mister Symphony, Tettidora, because you're trying to be a pain."
Tetti looks innocently offended. "I'm insulted by that!"
"Good." Callista smiles brightly at Sword and awaits his order.

"Well damn... but still, I'll sacrifice fish if it means I get to live with you Love." Pausing for a moment to realize how cheesy he just sounded, Sword shook his head and smiled as Callista approached. "Indeed Miss. I'll have the Dry Salad, and water with lemon please. And you love?" He asked, looking over at her to place her order before speaking any more.

"Dry Salad with a nogales-apple slush." Tetti says with a smile, folding her menu and floating it and Sword's over to Callista.
"I'll be right back with your drinks and about ten on the salads," Callista replies, smiling back at them. "It's been a first-rate week so far. Sugary Market and Masquerade, Princess Thryssa, and now Princess Tettidora and her stallionfriend." She pauses and leans over to nose Tettidora. "Best wishes for you, Cricket... I knew you'd find someone and this one looks like the perfect match."
Tetti blushes. "Thanks Cally."
"Anytime, hon." Callista turns and walks into the cafe building and Tetti smiles at Sword.
"I'm really glad I've gotten to bring you home, love," she says. "Show you where I live, introduce you to family, have you meet some friends... never even imagined I'd get to this point with anyone."

"It seems your city is gaining diversity by the day. Still, I...." he pauses as he was complimented yet again by one of Tetti's close friends, simply smiling and shaking his head as she left. "Likewise Love. I always envisioned myself growing old, not necessarily unhappy, but certainly alone with a bookshelf and a glass of scotch, maybe the company of Luna from time to time... Now the only things that've changed is the scale of the bookshelf...and the beautiful company I'll be keeping while doing that."

Tetti beams. "Having Luna in my library would be the joy of a lifetime, love. We're extremely fond of her, inasmuch as being born shapeshifters sort of aligns us more tightly with the darkness of the night, rather than the full light of the sun. It's also much easier to get a full appreciation for her night out here in the Barrens because the stars are much more clear and well-defined than in a well-settled and well-lit place like Equestria."
"Here you two go," Callista says as she deposits the water with lemon in front of Sword and the slush in front of Tetti. The slice of lemon has a very strong citrus scent and when Sword sips it, it tastes very slightly sweet in addition to the natural tartness of the fruit.
Tetti immediately sips her slush and makes a thrumming sound very much like a purr. "Mmm... fresh and sweet... thanks Cally."
"It's not a gift, you know..."
"Too bad, I'm still thanking you for it." Tetti sticks her tongue out at Callista, before she shoves that tongue into her slush and curls it to bring a clump of the semi-solid into her muzzle.
"You're welcome then," Callista says. "Food in about nine minutes now."
She leaves again and Tetti sighs after another sip of slush. "So where to next, love? All of our people are more or less in this city so all the shops and venues would be within the walls."

"Yes, you've mentioned several times your race's appreciation for Luna. And outside Manehatten you can usually get a very clear view of the sky actually. Canterlot and Ponyville aren't as industrious as other major cities, although the best views will always be from cloudtops in my opinion. And thank you." Sword says as Callista sets his drink down in front of him, taking a second to squeeze the lemon into the water before sipping, quite pleased with his drink. "Its always nice to be courteous to those who handle your food. As for where we go next, I vote for the Library. I'm ready to relax for the evening. We can take a complete tour of the town tomorrow mayhaps. Or maybe I'll take a day and read everything I can on changeling culture and history."

"Unless you're quite apt at speedreading, love, I think the history of changelings from Three Kingdom days to now would be a little hard to read in a single day." Tetti giggles. "But yes, I'd like to go back to the library too, where we can 'relax'," she mimes quotations marks with her hooves "to our hearts' content."
"I'd advise you to make sure your door remains secure, Tetti," Callista remarks as she walks by with trays for another table. "Those poor library staffers will never be the same again."
Tetti grimaces. "I can't believe I only dropkicked her to the wall for that... shoulda aimed for the horizon..."
Callista chuckles, floating one of the dishes with a sandwich divided into quarters and each one put on a different side of the square plate to its destination. "Was it true that she yelled something like 'Team Lepi is blasting off again!' on her way out the window?"
Tetti lays her face against the table. "My little sister has too much time on her hooves..." she mumbles.

"I don't intend to speed read the entire history, although I am a rather quick reader. I want to actually learn about the culture before I dive headfirst into it. I've got so much to learn about, I'll probably hole up for a few days before I decide to begin socializing." At her comments on relaxation, Sword closed his eyes for a moment and forced aside some rather... tantalizing thoughts off to the side, not wishing to walk about town with a rather unwelcome monument swaying about beneath him. "Yes.... that we can... but maybe first I should inquire as to what you were doing that earned Lepi a dropkick? This sounds most interesting..."

"Dear sweet little Tettidora discovered clopping." Callista says, lowly enough that only Tetti and Sword can hear. "Mommy Calli was so proud!"
Tetti's face remains planted on the table. "...start with the tip of her horn and break it off inch by inch..." Sword can hear her mutter.
"It's an important part of growing up dear," Callista says in a very maternal tone. "In normal school, by the second class year, we all learn that certain places feel good when touched."
"I hear that the theoretician pinballed in an especially epic fashion when Mother learned that some idiot let things jump to experimentation before the proper peer review was conducted," Tetti says dryly as she raises her head up. "I hear the idiot only survived one ricochet before the concussion."
"Your mother can be a little too conservative at times," Callista smiles. "Fortunately, she's extremely progressive in every way that matters. Family tradition, as I hear it."
"I prefer to think of it as thinking in a more deliberate and scientific fashion when offered a paradigm shift," Tetti shrugs. "It's not as if the concept was buried... it was just moved to seventh class year and made more thorough."
"I suppose I have you to thank for my scarring as an older teen?"
Tetti looks overly innocent. "I can't imagine what you're talking about."
Callista's eyes narrow and she points a hoof at Tetti. "You win this day but I've got your number, little book cricket. It's forty-two."
"Best number in the universe." Tetti grinned. "So... it's been enough time yet?"
Callista sighs dramatically. "I'll be back." And she turns and disappears into the structure of the cafe.

Sword lifted his glass to take a sip, only to freeze frame as Callista whispered to them. Oh dear.... this will be interesting... Opting to remain silent, lest he say something stupid and be on the wrong side of a changeling princess, he took a sip and set his glass down.

....

He couldn't help it. Sword snorted with laughter, clutching his side for a moment before straightening himself out. "Oh wow.... that's golden. What I would have given to be a fly on the wall for that incident.... Wait... that came out wrong... Ignore that statement." He then let them finish their banter before speaking again. "And..... I'm lost. Oh well. Starting to get used to it here. So... about that relaxing? How long you think we should relax when we get to the library?"

Tetti narrows her eyes at him. "If I had a couch, you'd be sleeping on it Sword." She breathes in, sighs, and then a little grin fights its way through. "I actually threw her out the window because she splintered the frame when she opened my door by kicking it. Because, you know, I was... um..." she blushes visibly "...busy at the moment. I'll give my little sister this: she's shamelessly blatant, but she has a very discerning eye for erotic fiction."
She smiles and noses at Sword when he admits to being lost. "Lost in what way, handsome? I'm pretty good at explaining stuff, almost as good as I am at cooking, and at least as good as I am at 'relaxing' with you. Which we should do as much of as we can... it's not as if there's any pressing business or any business at all."

"No I wouldn't. I'd carry a cloud inside and sleep above your head." Sword replied with a smirk, taking another drink while looking towards the kitchen to see if their food was on the way. "You'd think she would have just teleported inside. That would have been way more startling if you ask me. And as for how I am lost..." He gestures to everything. "Well I'm in a desert oasis filled with overly snuggly changelings, an over abundance of lemon themed food whilst you and Callista chat about manners of which I have no idea as to their origins. I'm wonderfully, gloriously lost in a radically different culture. I believe psychologists would label me in the first stage of culture shock, Euphoria. Which once we finish lunch, hopefully we'll be experiencing more of," he winks at her with a grin. "And after that, with your help hopefully I'll skip the second stage and go right into acceptance. Or I'll drink through the second stage with your sister. Either way works for me."

"Lepi doesn't like teleportation," Tetti shrugged. "She thinks that the instantaneous process of being swept up in a magical effect and deposited instantly in another place is unsettling. She claims to be able to feel her body being disintegrated and reassembled, although I'm convinced she's just trying to mess with me."
"It's Lepinora; of course she's trying to mess with you Tetti." Callista said as she trotted over carrying two plates. "Two dry salads, as ordered. I hope you enjoy the house special, Sword; apple trees don't grow very well in arid wastes and the ocean is quite a distance away."
She floats the plates over and puts them in front of the pair. The green of the salad has some remarkably fresh-looking dandelion leaves but primarily, it's paddles of nopales cactus carved so thinly that it could easily be mistaken for lettuce. It's sprinkled throughout with the slightly glossy leaves of a lemon tree that smell very, very faintly of apples. Eighths of prickly pear, deftly skinned and vaguely resembling sections of oranges, and diced red peppers are arranged such that they look like a flower blooming out of the center of the salad. The final touch are slices of lemon neatly arranged so they form a complete circle around the salad with the juicier part resting on the greens and the outward curve on the plate.
Callista stands there and waits, looking on with the mix of confidence and anxiety of someone proud of their work and hoping that others appreciate it. Which Tetti does, based on her immediately digging in and twitching her wings happily.
When Sword would start eating, he'd find that the lemon tree leaves have been blanched in apple cider and have a lightly sweet taste to them. The prickly pear has the pleasant tartness of raspberries and has been expertly peeled and seeded so the watermelon-like crispness of the fruit can be fully enjoyed. The lemon slices have a strong citrus scent to them but the sourness would be far less than Sword might expect. In fact, they're more tart than sour.
"What do you think?" Callista asks hopefully.

"I share her distaste for it, although I've accepted it as a convenient method of transportation. T'was Luna's favorite method of summoning me from my chair in Canterlot when I wished to be left alone. Ah, a nice evening alone and-GAH!" Sword waves his arms about in mock surprise. "Oh hello Princess, don't suppose you could have just sent a carriage you know? Yes I know you enjoy irritating me during my recovery process." Looking over his meal, he tries to decide where to start. "Hmmm. well... lets just get a little of everything on a fork..." Sword begins to poke little pieces of everything onto a fork and promptly plops it into his mouth, pulling the fork out and beginning to chew....

"Hmmm......" he mulls as the delightful flavors roll around on his taste buds before swallowing, then skewering a lemon and popping it into his mouth, chomping down on it with gleeful abandon before chasing it with a bit of prickly pear, then a length of red pepper, and finally a smattering of the leaves before he swallowed fully. "This.....is ok." Sword says with a tone of surprise, winking at Tetti. "And far less sour than I though it'd be..."

"According to Lepi, sudden and unexpected summoning via teleportation is the best form of late-night booty call," Tetti says wryly when she comes up for air from the process of enthusiastically inhaling her salad. "Some part of me is wondering what booty she's calling and whether it's her calling the booty, but the wise part of me is perfectly happy not to know."
"It'd probably be her marefriend's booty," Callista remarks, visibly relaxing at Sword's positive review. "As much as other mares enjoy her company in various ways, only Cryssa would tolerate being teleported out of a nice bubblebath and being glomped by a nypho artiste."
Tetti pursed her lips. "Calli..."
Callista puts up her hooves. "I know, crossed the line a little."
"It's all true but there is a place where you prefer only family go." Tetti smiles though and nibbles some lemon.
"I know." Callista then turns to Sword. "I'm glad you like it, Mister Symphony. I can only take credit for the composition, however. I'm working my plot off learning horticulture and the finer arts of cross-pollination and hybridization but I'm still years away from being able to take credit for the products of my family's orchards. There is an exquisite art and boundless patience required to make a lemon taste exactly how you want it to right off the tree; frankly, I envy the Apple family because it seems like they're practically born to be gifted apple farmers."
"I hear their youngest is still working that out," Tetti remarks. "It must be hard having to wait years to find out what you're best at, and only find out by staring at your own flanks."
Callista snorts. "Waste of time, the staring at your own flanks part. There's much better flanks to stare at, if you ask me."
"I tend to agree," Tetti grins, looking at Sword. "Vigorously." And then she returns to her salad.

"Well Love, if you intend to summon me for a late-night booty call, you just need to roll over and poke me." Sword replied with a wink, taking another mouthful of salad. "Well you've hit these lemons spot on, since I'm currently not scrunching my face in pain because of overpowering sourness. And as for little Applebloom and the Apple family..." Sword snorted and shook his head. "When they come to the conclusion that their daughter's talent most likely lies in singing, not apple farming, I think their heads will explode. Of course this relies on that little filly taking 2 seconds to assess herself, rather than doing insane stunts and tormenting the population of that pleasant small town."

Finishing his salad, he set his fork down and chuckled. "Well I'm glad to see all that running and weight training produced a flank you ladies enjoy ogling. Although you have an unfair advantage love, as you can form that flank of your's into whatever shape you wish. Wish I could have done that about 8 years ago. Would have saved me several months of endless running. But moving back to more pleasant topics..." Sword watches her inhale her salad with a coy grin on his face. "So many things I want to say about the way you inhale that salad..."

"I don't know, I think the Apples would be pretty excited if 'Bloom actually discovered her cutie mark," Tetti says. "In fact, as I hear it, the entire town would be pretty excited if she discovered her cutie mark, because the nightmare would be over."
"You must be exaggerating," Callista smiles.
"Callista, imagine Pearbloom, Belladonna, and Sweet Belle with half as much common sense and twice as much obsession." Tetti deadpans.
Callista's smile vanishes into a look of horror. "Oh, that poor little town..."
"That's about the size of it," Tetti agrees. She polishes off the salad and gives Sword a coy look in response. "Then say them, handsome. We're all adults here."

"I lived in that town for a year. Never have I seen a force of greater mayhem than those three chaotic fillies. Word has it that they were on a tour through the gardens that held the petrified spirit of chaos right before he escaped his confinement. An amusing coincidence. I'm glad I lived in the clouds, where they couldn't reach me." Sword set his plate to the side as he finished his meal along with Tetti. "Yes well I will say all kinds of things to you in private once we're home, which I'm very much looking forward to seeing. I don't suppose the bed there is fit for a princess? Please say yes..."