Beneath the Surface

He sighed, stopping, and thus stopping her as well. "Look. Nightmare Moon... I just sensed something was wrong, and pulled you into the nearest room. As for Discord..." He poked the tip of his cracked horn. "My shield held out... But it cost me."

He paused. "Chrysalis... I should have been there."

"Do not keep blaming yourself." Celestia snaps. "Some things, we can predict. Others we cannot. You cannot possibly expect to always be ready for everything. True, you should have been there. But there was no apparent reason for you to. It was far more prudent to put you where you would have been the greatest help - on the outer walls. Influenced as he was, Shining Armour made a sound tactical decision based on available evidence."

"I lost half my horn, a fair amount of dignity, and most of the years of my life defending you. In that time I have succeed twice. And failed a fair number times more. And I wasn't on the outer walls..." He muttered.

Celestia places a hoof on Paladin's shoulder. "You are loyal, Paladin. Very loyal. And you've succeeded a lot more than you think you have. In any case, I'm still alive today. That, surely, must count for something."

"You don't understand... I wasn't on the outer wall... I wasn't even close..."

"But... most of our troops were on the outer walls." Celestia raises an eyebrow. "Where were you, then?"

"In a bar... Asleep..." He murmured. "With a... Whore..."

"With a..." Celestia maintains a neutral expression. "Were you given explicit orders to deploy?"

"I was..." He nodded slowly. "I know I should have been there... Should have been by your side... But... With the cap getting married, I was just so alone. I never saw the point in dating... But I just wanted some company..."

Celestia stares forward, her gaze never wavering. "... Emotions are a part of us all. We must know when to ignore them, and when to heed. Your action was... unwise. But it is understandable. We all need friendship and love, and it is not surprising that you, Paladin, are not exempt." She pauses. "I hear, however, that you have now found the company you once sought."

"Perhaps... But even still, I don't feel complete. I love Harmony, I really and truly do..." He sighed. "I don't know Princess. I understand your disappointment in me. And I should be Princess. I should be your unbreakable guard, unshakable in my resolve and my word. But I just feel... Empty. Unless I'm near you..."

He starts forward again.

"No one is unbreakable, either in body or in spirit. There are always lofty ideals for which to strive, but not all of us can truly reach them." Celestia stares at Paladin. "You are flawed. Imperfect. As we all are, in our ways." She sighs. "As am I. I have failed in my duty to Equestria many times before as well. But it is a burden I must bear."

She looks up towards the sky. "Yes, I am disappointed in you. But only because you don't fully realise that there is much, much more to you than your duty."

"More to me than my duty? What else could I do? You are too far above me to love, and while I can protect you from sword and arrow, or heal any wound, I have no other skills." He panted as he yelled this. "I am a mistake, a broken shield to be left discarded on the roadside!"

"Duty is not all that you are!" Celestia snaps. "You are a pony! A talented one, too, at that. Shields and healing are a lot more than others can boast." She waves a hoof. "Look at Ician. I know what he is capable of, and magically speaking he is no better than you. Far worse, actually - he only has telekinesis to his name. But he does what he can with what he has, and understands that he cannot do more than is equinely possible."

She gestures to his cutie mark. "You were born with a talent. Some ponies have better talents than others. But that doesn't make the others 'mistakes', nor something worthless to be discarded. It makes each and every one of us special in our own ways."

"Really? I'm special am I?" He pulled himself forward, cutting his side as he slid between the wall and her, before facing her. "Because it doesn't seem that way. You're special, immortal even. Your name will be in the history books forever, mine not even written down." He reached into his medical pouch and dropped a dozen newspaper clippings. "And your personally funded paper didn't think I was anything special."

Celestia sighs. "Being special has its own drawbacks as well, you know. The weight of an entire empire rests on my shoulders. Can you imagine what it is like, waking up every day, and knowing that even the slightest mistake on my part could mean the downfall of the country? Do you know how much pressure that puts on somepony over a thousand years?

"Yes, my name will be in the history books. It already is. But I paid a great price for it. If I thought I could give it all up... I just might." She focuses her gaze on Paladin. "But as for the paper, you know as well as I do that the press never looks for duty, nor honour. Only stories. And just because it's my personally funded paper doesn't mean it's any better than the others out there."

"But could you imagine Celestia, waking up every morning, knowing that in the scheme of things, your actions will never be remembered, never recorded, you will never be known as anything more than another number?" Paladin's blood dripped down his side, staining his coat red. "I have protected you for so long, with this longing in my heart. This burning desire that I can never fulfil." Paladin sighed.

Griff continues sitting in the shadow and just sighs, still waiting for his reward. He was getting only slightly annoyed by all the talk, and was glad they didn't notice him yet.

"I have ruled Equestria, alone, for millennia. I have seen hundreds of thousands of loyal, faithful soldiers like you, pass without so much as a mention in any historical text." Celestia says gravely. "They are numbers, Paladin, just like you. But that didn't stop them from fulfilling their duty as best they could."

She gestures to the blood. "See, now. Look at your wound. I could heal it. But not as well as you could. I could have deflected the attack that caused it, too. But not as quickly nor instinctively as you could, had you been paying attention. I only served as a distraction for you, and... that is yet another burden of failure to bear." She looks around, her horn aglow. "Assailant! Show yourself!"

---

"I'm sorry this is taking so long, Griff." Ician sighs. "But, well... nothing we can do about it."

"Distract me? You did not distract me..." He sighed. "Look... I wanted to be yours, so much... That is why I feel empty. I love Harmony, but you just..." He stitched up his wound, gritting his teeth. Blinking at her outcry, he leapt over her, landing between her and the apparent threat, a shield erupting in front of him, spikes jutting out of it.

"God damnit." Griff sighs and slides down the wall, eventually lying down on the ground. "Wake me up when needed... I suppose."

"Yes..." Ician watches him. "Yes, I will."

---

The assailant, a single, normal changeling, stumbled backwards as the spikes jabbed at his face. He looks back at Paladin and launches another weak magic beam.

Paladin catches it on the shield, before dropping the shield and pinning the changeling against the wall, his eyes glowing as he growled. "You DARE touch her? I hope you enjoy the last moments of your life." His needles danced around his head like an angry swarm of bees.

"Touch... her?" The changeling laughs weakly. "... No. Touch you?... Yes."

"See, just how badly is Canterlot protected?!" Griff grunts. "We haven't been here for good 10 minutes and we've already been attacked 5 times.."