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 OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)

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+68
The Dragon Io
Dieteticchutoy3
Brother Roga
Pseudologia Fantastica
Lorthalis of Crows
The Notebook
deanbrony
Two Sides of the Coin
Fifrein
Darth Quadro
Doomande
Pencil Doodle
Thak
Indicus
Midnightblossom
Twentypando96
Little Red
Remare Shadows
Seance71
Thebravenorse
BronzeFog
kirbymaster1
Shoryu
eqbotanium
Darkmare
ChaosZero102
Sharp
PlumT
Shadowfire
TheOnlyOneWhoCared
Jet Edge
SwordSymphony
Zen
Brony_Khaos
Deleted
ObsidianPony
DJDemitri
Bookworm Guardian
LeoValkenhein
Unity Wolfpony
blazingskys
cemfin
FireBurst
Dusk Quill
MoonBreeze
Charemoed
Chappy
Cobalt the Alicorn
veryveryfluttershy
StrawberryGamer
krh106
Nice1220
MCpenguin1111
Ician
Mosley
The_Pariah
Johnny Maker
PinkButcher
AurumTempestas
Xereth
Chowatron
Hegamonia
DerLampman
Mr. Market
Dragon Soul
Rayne
Star Sentinel
Heartstring
72 posters
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AuthorMessage
DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 1:13 am

The Notebook wrote:
"Knuckle"

Quite. Character approved.
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DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 1:16 am

Star Sentinel wrote:
Right...I fix the specialty, weakness, history, and a bit of the personality.

Good work. Approved.
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DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 1:18 am

BronzeFog wrote:
Name: Neon Fire

Extremely simple... and yet entirely proper. Character approved.
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Star Sentinel

Star Sentinel


Posts : 1327
Join date : 2014-03-19
Age : 23
Location : California, United States

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 10:57 am

Name: Ocean Blade

Race: Earth Pony

Age: 34

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Mane: Dark Green

Coat: Dark Brown

Cutie mark: A sword crossed over a skull and crossbones flag.

Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add: His eyes are a light green.

Distinguishing Features: The tip of his left ear looks like it had been torn off. A gun holster strap in the shape of an X over his chest.

Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): He is quick on his hooves and is very resourceful with what he has in hoof’s reach. He can quickly draw his gun at the tap off a hoof and can be very sneaky.

Weaknesses: He always hurts ponies he never means to and can be very forgetful. He talks without thinking and is reckless. He does whatever pops into his mind without thinking.

Occupation: Pirate

Gear: Two magically charged pistols, the gun holsters for his pistols, a black three pointed pirate hat, even though he doesn’t wear it unless he’s flying his ship.

History: Ocean was born in Trottingham where his parents raised him to be a good colt, but he would always somehow find a way to get in trouble. He was a constant trouble maker and his parents did not want to have to fix his problem anymore. They didn’t want to pay for all the things he broke and didn’t want him. They threw him out of their home and put him in an orphanage.

Ocean was still causing trouble for the other foals in the orphanage and was almost forced out onto the streets. One time, he had stolen from a nearby store when his caretaker wasn’t looking and snuck out of the orphanage. The owner of the store was furious at Ocean and wanted him to pay for what he stole and broke. Ocean was lucky that the caretaker of his orphanage still looked out for him and wanted him to grow up.

The next few years for Ocean was him getting to learn and him getting in trouble a lot. He had been thrown out of the orphanage a few times, but all those times he had always been let back in. But one day, Ocean’s trouble making caused a bit too much for the police ponies in Trottingham. He snuck into their HQ and stole a pair of hoofcuffs and one of their automatic batons.

With the hoofcuffs, he used them to hoofcuff the pony, who was suppose to be watching the HQ but was sleeping on the job, to the chair they were sleeping on and quickly left the HQ. He went to a remote spot in the city and swung the baton around like a sword. He would always hid in a tree when a police pony was nearby because he really wanted to keep the baton as long as he could.

In the next few days, polices had been looking for Ocean because he was seen leaving the HQ with an automatic baton in his mouth. Ocean was still hiding in trees, but he was eventually found. Course, being the trouble maker he is he used the baton he stole to attack the police. It was fully grown adults versus a teenage colt, and the odds were very much against Ocean winning. Surprisingly, he did take out one police before getting ponypiled on.

The police and the caretakers in the orphanage had enough of Ocean and decided to make him another cities problem. They sent him to a different orphanage located in the city of Baltimare, a city on the coats of Horseshoe Bay. It's know for the large amounts of ships and airships that dock in their harbors.

Ocean had an excellent idea of what he wanted to be once the orphanage kicks him out for being to old. Till then, he continued to steal and make trouble for the ponies that lived there. He even stole one of the sailors flintlock and created a little gun holster for it so that he could wear it on his chest. He didn't bother trying to make things out of the things he stole because he was terrible at that stuff.

As the years past, Ocean kept on stealing from the sailors and pilots that came into the harbor of Baltimare. He was eventually kicked out of the orphanage when he reached the legal age of adulthood. So since he was now free to do what he wanted, he decided to become a pirate since he was so good at stealing.

One day while he was walking around the harbor, Ocean found a lone changeling who seemed to be beaten up badly. He wondered if he should just leave the changeling but thought against it and helped the changeling out. He was surprised at how weak the changeling looked. Thinking deeply, he came up with an idea that maybe he could get the changeling to be a pirate and help him steal an airship.

Ocean was surprised then the changeling said yes, but he figured it was because he helped him out. Ocean did his best to get them some equipment so that they could raid an airship. He discarded the flintlock he had stole and swapped it in for two magical energy pistols powered by runes on the side. For the changeling, he stole two swords for him and a bandanna hat.

They both waited in the shadows the the harbor waiting for the right airship to dock in the harbor. A rather small airship docked in the harbor and most of the crew members went out to do their own things in Baltimare. Ocean and his new changeling buddy took that chance to take the airship for their own.

They snuck onto the ship, hiding from the ponies still on the ship. Ocean's new friend swiftly killed any ponies who got to curios and got close to them. They made their way to the captain's quarters where the captain of the airship they had decided to take as their own was there. Ocean fired his newly stolen pistols at the captain. Ocean quickly and swiftly headed for the wheel of the ship while be left his changeling friend do what he wanted.

Ocean flew the airship a fare distance away from Baltimare and thanked the changeling for helping him. They both stayed on the ship, that was oddly named Gentle Touch, and searched all of equestria for other ponies willing to be apart of their pirate crew.

Personality: Ocean is the take charge kinda pony. He is caring, but strict, as a captain should be. He is a pony you should look to when in a tough situation because he will try his best to keep you alive. He can be lovable if you really get to know him and how much everypony hated him when he was a young colt.

Current Home: On board the Gentle Touch

Misc: Though he was born and raised in Trottingham, he always has a pirate accent instead of a british one, but he does, sometimes, slip and fall back into having a british accent. A pirate accent being the stereotypical, "Yar" and "Arrr" and other words like that.

Airship Picture: Gentle Touch.


Last edited by Star Sentinel on Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:31 pm; edited 3 times in total
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The Notebook

The Notebook


Posts : 249
Join date : 2014-04-16
Age : 26
Location : John Lennon's grave stone.

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 12:50 pm

Name: Sweeps/Elsie
Race: Griffon
Age: Unknown/24
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Mane: none
Coat: Their head down to their front paws is pitch black, they have white wings speckled with grey and brown, and dark brown back legs and torso.
Cutie mark.: None
Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add: His body holds two souls, one of a male griffon and the other of a female griffon.
Distinguishing Features: Their mismatched jade and violet eyes
Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Pickpocketing, lockpicking, and always was a good decoy.
Weaknesses: Their body literally changes shape depending on who is the dominant soul, causing extreme pain when the body changes from a smaller more feminine body to a larger, stocky body in a matter of minutes, and visit versa.
Occupation: Pirate
Gear: Two perfectly fitting cuffs that are enchanted to change the body depending on the dominant soul, and a odd scythe. The pole of the weapon is a magically charged sniper rifle it can only be shot five times every two days, attached to the firearm are two long curved scythe blades one right below the other. The trigger and everything that protrudes from the pole the firearm shoots sinks into pole. After the firearm closes the pole extends and one of thenbleds twists to the other side of the weapon. Turning the weapon into a double sided scythe.
History: As a chick Elsie was always the dominant soul, she grew up on the streets of Yearlington and only ever learned how to steal from others most of the time that involved her being the decoy, but as she grew older she began being the lockpicker and the pickpocketer of the bunch she grew up with. She had become a good thief and at 16 became the leader of her bunch until age 20.
During her final heist before leaving the dump of a town for Equastria since she now had a border crossing pass, she found two arm cuffs. Yearling was home to 1274 griffons, and one of those griffins in particular was the expeditioner and collector, Stalwalt. They had at first just planned on breaking in and placing letters saying, "Get better locks next time." But Stakwalt had heard word of this and had called in the guards, he however asked the guard to just do what they had been given their name for and not let any yearlings of griffonesses in. They however did get in, and got arrested by even more guards that hide on the inside, but not before Elsie put on the cuffs. Her body froze in a almost comatose like state, then began the first morph, Stalwalt knowing full well what those cuffs did, decided it was punishment enough that she had put the cuffs on. For the next few days her body became their body, her mind became their mind constantly shifting gender, body shape, voice, size, it was all in chaos and within 10 days the agony stopped she awoke and could sense him. Long since forgetting his name he told her to call him Sweeps .
For the next four years they came to terms with each other, when they would alternate the body, where they would cross the line with each other, quirks, personality. They found out everything about each other. This lead to Elsie learning Sweep was a old assassin from before her day and age. From age 22 to 24 she was taught how to kill using both long range weapons and Sweeps old favorite a scythe. When they were battle ready, she put up her best act yet. Picking up the maid's outfit and going to work in the castle, which funtioned as a tourist attraction around Griffdonia, it was both a museum of closely guarded weapons and cultural goods.
On the forth day on her way through the museum with the royals and suvillian, she stopped by the only weapon stand unguarded as it was a closed exhibit on Wednesdays. Quickly using a claw she traced the glass and lightly tapped it in, she put the gun into the garbage and continued on. What she had stolen was the target of the escepade in Griffington, a scythe rifle. A weapon that was only made 14 times, each a different model. She had taken the weakest and worst of them from the unnoticed since it was never guarded in the first place. Grabbing the gun and pulling it out of the trash once she had exited she tore off the maid outfit and took off as fast as she could not stopping until she reached a floating boat. Sweeps told her to board and hide. By the time got on she was already at point blank range though, reluctantly at first she joined the "crew" on the Gentle Touch reluctantly, but soon found herself at home.
Personality: Elsie despite knowing how to lead and take charge, is rather submissive. She has an honest eye for judging ponies, and other races, and is fast to react to situations. Almost as easily spooked as she is calmed, she doesn't seem to be who she is, this however is the mask she wears out of battle. When fighting she looks like someone ripped out the warmth of her body, her eyes look dead and its easy to underestimate her until she hits you when you don't expect. / Sweeps is an odd one, he's constantly hyper, but somehow has a calm state of mind at all times as well. He doesn't think before acting, he simply reacts. He almost seems to enjoy fighting on the edge of death, as he will take a opponents melee weapon straight on and injure himself before striking the enemy down.
Current Home: On the Gentle Touch
Misc:
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DualThrone
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Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 4:47 pm

The Notebook wrote:
Name: Sweeps/Elsie

Approved.
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Xereth

Xereth


Posts : 2105
Join date : 2014-03-19
Age : 27
Location : That one tiny country noone knows about.

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Name: Welissa
Race: Female Griffin
Age: 23
Alignment: Neutral/Good
Appearance: Front half of the body is crow-like, back half of a snow tiger, red eyes.
Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add:
Distinguishing Features: Always carrying her weapons on her., has a Russian accent
Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Very accurate and effective with her rifle, can do well in close combat
Weaknesses: Water, dungeons
Occupation: Various jobs
Gear: A bolt-action, internal-magazine fed rifle with a scope attachment, sturdy enough to deflect hits from even stronger melee attacks, a semi-automatic .45cal sidearm and a military knife, dark green bandana
History: Welissa was born in a rich family in the Crystal Empire. Her father was a gunsmith and her mother was a teacher in secondary school. Her mother was attempting to raise Welissa into a kind, caring griffin, but Welissa hated playing with dolls that her mother got her. She used to sneak into her father's workshop when mother was away, since she found gun-making much more interesting. When she was getting older, her father eventually let her start testing the guns he made, and over the years, her mother was getting busier and busier in school, which gave Welissa a chance to get better at testing and using her father's guns. On her eighteenth birthday, her father secretly gave Welissa a rifle that he made specially just for her and afterwards a high amount of money as a combined gift from both her father and her mother. With that money, she moved to Trottingham, to live with her father's friend and personal student, who was trying to be as good of a gunsmith as Welissa's father was. He gladly accepted her into her home, where she still lives now.
Personality: Usually cheerful, likes to get drunk, tries to make friends whenever possible. She isn't a big talker (Doesn't talk a lot) unless she gets drunk.
Current Home: Trottingham
Misc:
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DualThrone
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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun May 25, 2014 6:22 pm

DragonXneoN wrote:
Name: Welissa

Approved.
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Jet Edge

Jet Edge


Posts : 4
Join date : 2014-05-25
Age : 27
Location : 'MURICA

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeMon May 26, 2014 1:30 am

Name: Jet Edge

Race: Pegasus

Age: 17

Alignment: Good

Mane: Black

Coat: Gray

Cutie mark: Has yet to find her special talent since she just goes with whatever happens in life, while at the same time being too adventurous to do anything special enough to discover it. (Though Senpai Market said I could add one later to the sheet when I find it through RP)

Distinguishing Features:She has patches of black fur around her body, a couple of them having longer fur than the rest of her coat due to self grooming not always being her highest priority

Specialty (e.g. special spells, unique powers etc): from her wings, once a day, she can excrete an aphrodisiac which will allow any character to either fall asleep/go unconscious, or seduce others into doing what she pleases, like a succubus if you will. It is powerful, and she will use this power for the first rather than the latter (The latter will be explained in the misc section) She can also concentrate on it to make it in a liquid form that is drinkable, or you can rub it on the body to affect the target that way too. Also since she is a Pegasus, she is overjoyed with the fact she was born as a Pegasus as opposed to another race without wings, even feeling sorry for the earth ponies and unicorns. She uses her wings over her legs at any possible moment, and in turn her flight speed has become top notch, being able to keep up with some of the fastest pegasi and other winged beasts in Equestria.

Weaknesses: The downsides to the specialty listed above is that she can use it about once a day, as her body has to regenerate the scent over the course of about 20 hours, the liquid form of it requires at least a 48 hour regeneration period. Along with that, using this power can put her body into pain, meaning that if she wants to abuse her power, she will also be putting her own physical condition at risk.

Occupation: She does not have a job, she just goes with whatever happens. When she's hungry she gets food through various means, whether it be stealing, helping someone do something small, or just plain picking it off the ground/vine/tree. Anything she needs she will find a way to get what she needs. A lot of the time, she will do odd jobs, such as dish washing for a restaurant, or being a bouncer for a nightclub to get either money for food and living necessities. This is mainly to separate herself from a common thief who would just steal stuff for the point of having it, where if she has to steal, it's to survive, she does prefer to try to work a small job for an hour or two to get what she needs. This allows her to not be tied down by a full time job, and be free to do what she wants the rest of the time. If there is nothing available, she will more than likely reduce herself to eating scraps of food she notices others don't want when at a restaurant, scrounging the garbage for it, or stealing it. She really doesn't care as long as it's enough to keep her alive.

Gear: The only thing she carries with her is a locket she got when her grandmother died, it contains a picture of her mother, and her grandmother, as well as a little inscription that says "Reach high like the Jet you are! - Grandma Healing"

History: When she was about one year old, her father left her mother because he's a drunkard and no one knew where he went. She then learned how to walk, and about a month later she learned how to fly. During this time she had been a curious, adventurous little filly, always escaping from her mother's sights. This led her into various mishaps, most harmless, like an old couple finding a random filly playing in their backyard, or the mail mare reaching into her mail bag to pull out a filly who is chewing on a postcard. All those harmless mishaps occurred, causing her mother to have her wear a little collar with a phone number on it for when the events occurred. One day her adventurous nature led her flying around and exploring the rainbow factory. She got in through a ventilation pipe, thinking it was a little play tunnel, she walked in and and fell into a vat of experimental rainbow fluid. The rainbow was meant to be brighter than any other rainbow ever created, and to fill the air with a sweet scent. The splash of her falling into the vat alerted one of the scientists at the factory, who then picked her out and was worried that she had been hurt, yet at the same time was mad that a filly was in the factory, possibly messing up the factory's experiments. He then looked at her collar and called not only Jet's mother, but the police ponies to give her mother a fine, and a doctor to make sure no long term affects stayed with the filly. Upon inspecting the filly, the doctor had noticed that her wings were the only thing retaining the scent from the experimental rainbow, but it was very faint. It didn't seem to have any real effect on anything, but when Jet was two and her mother died, she had to live with her grandmother and was in a really depressed state. She would occasionally sniff her wings to calm her nerves, but it stopped coming out on its own, so she pushed it out and felt pain and some dizziness and after sniffing it fell asleep. The next day she tried it again, getting the same results. A day after that she decided to try it on her grandma to see if it affected others in the same way. She waited until her grandmother made her apple casserole, which usually came out smelling badly, then told her grandma to sniff her wings to mask the smell. When she did this she made sure that she made the kind that puts others to sleep came out of her wings. The experiment proved successful, making her grandmother fall asleep. Jet decided to start using this to her own advantage, but eventually stopped when she realized she didn't really enjoy the pain that came with doing it. One day when trying to get out of trouble at school, she used it on her teacher, then about fifteen minutes after tried it on the principle when he came to settle the class down and immediately blame it on the only troublemaker in the class. When it didn't work she eventually tried to experiment with it, seeing how long the intervals between uses was, and came down to the conclusion of about twenty to twenty two hours, but to keep things simple just said once every day. About three years later when she was five, she had been exploring a forest that she often flew to, and broke one of her wings when she wasn't paying attention and crashed into a tree. Being stranded there, not knowing her way back out without flying above the trees to scope out the area, she was laying on the ground sadly and after about an hour she went and got some food, and water, then made a little tent out of two giant leaves that were on the ground. She wanted to get to sleep without much hassle, and she was already in pain, so she figured she would just use her power to knock herself out. She overdid it, and it started leaking out in a liquid form that had barely any scent. Some of it got on her skin/fur and she fell asleep immediately from the power of it. The next day she started trying to find her way back out of the forest, and made a fair amount of progress, at night trying to knock herself out with the power, but found it wasn't working, which baffled her. The third day she was in the forest, she finally found the edge of the forest and came out to a small town where she was found by a couple who then took her to a small clinic who bandaged up her wing, and called her grandma which was the new number on the collar Jet had. Jet didn't really need to collar, but she liked the way it looked on her at the time, so she kept one around her neck, whether others accepted her wearing it or not. When her grandmother arrived to pick her up, they payed the clinic stallion and went back to their home in Ponyville. She let her wing heal and started trying to make the liquid form come out of her wings. She slipped some into her grandmother's coffee to see if it affected others, which it did. She soon realized that, like the scent from her wings, it had a regeneration period, but this time being forty eight hours as opposed to twenty to twenty two hours. Another year later she used the scent on a colt who was being mean to her, she didn't feel like dealing with him, so she decided to just put him to sleep. She wondered why when she made him sniff her wing, he didn't fall asleep, but just stood there. She told him to never bully her again, and like a slave he just replied with, "Okay ma'am, I am sorry if I have caused you any discomfort." The next day she tried it on him again, but this time had some orders she had to give him. She told him to do some random things like get her a glass of apple cider, or randomly lick another colt's face and then walk off, and he did everything exactly as Jet asked. The effect only lasted about two hours. The day after that she decided that her experimenting was over as, even though her pain threshold had gotten significantly higher ever since she found she could use this power, she still hated the pain that came with it. Over the course of a year she used it on different ponies, and other races such as zebras, griffons, and some forest creatures, having success about eighty percent of the time, the other twenty percent being failed attempts, such as trying it on ponies who saw it coming, or life forms who were too big for the scent to completely take over their mind. She hardly ever uses the liquid form of it, as that causes her so much pain that she can barely handle it and has to take a couple minutes to recover from it. She does like to keep a couple jars of it on hoof, just in case she ever needs it for either a prank, or getting out of a sticky situation. When she was 14 she had gone to pick up her cousin who was in the hospital due to injury, with her Grandmother. 2 years later Grandma Healing had died due to old age, and her cousin had left to another part of Equestria due to his job as a salespony. Jet didn't feel like going with him so she just wanders around doing whatever she wants, occasionally running into old friends. Sometimes when she runs into old friends, she will just live with them for a couple days and do various things with them.

Personality: She has a more hyperactive personality, while sometimes being more laid back. She tries to be up front about stuff, and tries to think on her hooves in any situation. She will try to stick up for friends whenever possible. Even though she tries to be as social as possible, if she gets depressed or sad she will try to cut herself off from the world for as long as possible, and even cause herself pain to feel better. She also likes to refer to others as Senpai and Kouhai. She is a tomboy and she does not like anything girly whatsoever, and she will ignore anything pertaining to such and go straight to anything adventurous.

Current Home: She lives on the street, because she is not currently employed, she tries to live by her wits, and doesn't want to be tied down to the duties of upkeep on that, and the bills and other stuff that comes with owning a place to live. She sleeps and lives wherever she falls asleep at in the world.

Misc: She has a slight southern accent

(NSFW) Occasionally she will get the urge to do various NSFW things. When that happens, a chemical in the aphrodisiac in her wings will start to poison her body and do various cosmetic things to her body, such as the feathers from her wings will start falling out or her fur will start to shed. When her urges are satisfied, enough of the chemical will come out that it will no longer be poisoning her body, but not enough to get the chemical out completely, meaning that the cycle will continue.


Last edited by Jet Edge on Fri May 30, 2014 4:27 am; edited 4 times in total
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TheOnlyOneWhoCared




Posts : 1
Join date : 2014-05-26
Age : 35

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Name: Quick Thinker (nickname is Egghead)
Race: Pony, Unicorn
Age: 20
Alignment: Chaotic good, mostly
Mane: White with natural red tips
Coat: Cyan
Cutie mark.: Lit up lightbulb ( Think: Eureka! moment)
Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add: Extremely intelligent, but lacks a lot of common sense.
Distinguishing Features: Has one multicolored iris, and the other is white, but has perfect vision. Has very fluffy fur. Tail is more like a rope than hair, uses it as a belt for hanging things on. Very flexible.
Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Has one spell(among others) that he can use once a day to learn any one thing.
Weaknesses: Cannot stand idiots. Does not like to be touched without permission. Both things drive him nuts.
Occupation: Valet at a fancy restaurant.
Gear: Has a grappling hook that he carries everywhere, a 2-inch obsisian bladed knife that he keeps in his mane, and a button that he always keeps held down with duct-tape.
History: Just a normal pony, only interisting thing that has ever happened to him was a serious conversation with Discord at one point before his reformation. He was one of extremely few ponies Discord ignored because he amused him so much. He then proceeded to thank Discord for his kindness and ask him how his day was going.
Personality: Very smart, but can be common sense-lacking at times. Has, surprisingly, found inner peace, but doesn't really make a big deal about it. Very calm unless you intentionally puss him off. Strangely enough, he rarely ever feels any emotions.
Current Home: Ponyville
Misc: Loves dubstep, and most other electronica. Has frequent lunches with Discord since his reformation. Is bi-sexual. A master of deception and manipulation.
Power Level (out of what?) 42
Strength: 2
Intelligence: 5
Energy Projection: 2
Fighting Ability: 3
Durability: 2
Speed: 2


Last edited by TheOnlyOneWhoCared on Sat May 31, 2014 8:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeMon May 26, 2014 4:03 pm

TheOnlyOneWhoCared wrote:
Name: Quick Thinker (nickname is Egghead)
Age: 19ish

Specify an exact age, please.

Quote :
History: Just a normal pony, only interesting thing that has ever happened to him was a serious conversation with Discord at one point before his reformation. He was one of extremely few ponies Discord ignored because he amused him so much. He then proceeded to thank Discord for his kindness and ask him how his day was going.

In the first place, there's not enough history here. In the second place, Discord couldn't be conversed with prior to breaking out of his stone prison so that's invalid. Finally, nothing about Discord pre-reform indicates a willingness to just be nice to a random pony, so that doesn't work either.

This character requires work before he can be acceptable. Do so.
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DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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Star Sentinel wrote:
Ocean Blade

Atta girl. Smile Character approved.
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Shadowfire




Posts : 1
Join date : 2014-05-27

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Name: Shadowfire Alias: Shadow or Shade.

Race: Unicorn

Age: Adult, 21.

Alignment: Prefers to be neutral but will go to one side if need be

Appearance:
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Cutie mark: A vial of bubbly liquid

Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add: None

Distinguishing Features: None that I can think of

Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Shadow has few select spells of his own that help him with his alchemy of herb identification.

Weaknesses: Weaknesses/Flaws: Shadow's main weakness is his magic cause he has never been able to learn much but since moving to Ponyville, he's been borrowing magic books from the library to get better at his magic.

Occupation: None yet, but he strives to be an apothecary

Gear: Other than a few potions he keeps with himself and a small dagger for protection, nothing.

History: Born to two parents, Brightlight and Shadowlight, Shadowfire started his life in Equestria. Not long after his birth, two years to be precise, his younger sister, Shimmering Fire, soon followed and together loved and cared for each other while living in the city of Fillydelphia.

He was born a unicorn and his sister was born a earth pony. Shadow was able to start using magic at the usually age but unfortunately for Shadow, he never was able to practice his magic much and so was never able to get as good he would've liked but he is content with what he has, it may only be a few simple spells, but that are all he needs.

At one stage, they had to move to Canterlot to start their later years schooling before finishing. Years later, and the siblings were finished their schooling years and ready to face the world. After much discussion with their parents, the siblings decided that they'd stick together and were going to move to the quiet town of Ponyville and that is only the beginning, his adventures in Ponyville is where his story truly begins...

Personality: Clam, peaceful and somewhat joyful to be around, Shadowfire enjoys hanging around with other ponies and enjoys making new friends wherever possible. He enjoys learning new things about his friends as it allows for him to understand them better so that he can help them whenever the need may arise. While he does care deeply for friends, family and loved ones, he knows that deep in his heart that he will never be able to be there for all of them and he has promised himself not to make a promise that he knows he could never keep, like being around for someone and never leaving, that he knows he'll never keep cause he knows that one day he'll die.

Shadowfire enjoys going beyond Ponyville to explore new areas that he's never seen as well as old places that he goes back to find anything new for him to explore. The Everfree Forest is his favourite place to explore due to all the 'myths' and 'legends' that ponies say about the forest, but that just adds fuel to his adventurist spirit but he does know his limits and won't endanger himself purposely.

Now while he does love to go adventuring to explore new places or make new friends and learn about them, there's none other that he loves more than his younger sister, Shimmering Fire, who loves him back just as much. While the two siblings do have their fights, like all siblings do, they love each and do anything they can for each other, though people often mistake them for a couple as they do live together and some of their fights resemble the look of being a couple.

Above all else, Shadow enjoys doing what enjoys doing most, his alchemy. While it may seem uninteresting to other ponies, Shadow takes great care and interest in his talent, after all he wouldn't have a Cutie Mark for it if he didn't enjoy now would he? Shadow is able to pull together almost any potion that he has made with having to consult to a book that he made that contains a list of recipes and ingredients, though on occasion when he does stuff one up, he will go to the book to check what wrong and can usually fix it straight away.

Current Home: Ponyville

Misc: None


Last edited by Shadowfire on Fri May 30, 2014 8:10 am; edited 1 time in total
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Ician

Ician


Posts : 3586
Join date : 2014-03-31
Age : 25
Location : Singapore

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Name: Puppet Schwarm

Race: Unicorn

Age: 30

Alignment: Neutral

Mane: Plain brown

Coat: Light grey

Cutie mark: The image of an arrangement of stones in the shape of an eagle, wings outstretched, surrounded by a silver magic aura.

Distinguishing Features: He often has a large eagle, made entirely of polished steel, sitting on his back.

Specialty: His specialty lies in the creation and manipulation of magic puppets. He is able to pull together anything in his surroundings - rocks, grass, flowers, even trees - and animate them to do his bidding. Post-animation, he can morph their shape and form as he sees fit, moulding them into something suitable for the task at hand. He specialises in the creation of the forms of animals, especially birds.

Weaknesses: Physically, he is rather weak, most of his strength being concentrated in his magical powers. As for his puppets, whatever he moulds them from dictates their weaknesses - a grass puppet, for instance, would be susceptible to fire, not to mention weak and paper-thin. This forces him to use special, harder-to-obtain and often-in-shortage materials for higher-quality puppets.

In addition, the larger the object he wants to animate, the harder it is to do so - using a tree for his work is a lot harder than using a simple petal.

Finally, although the presence of an animation spell is passive and does not require magic to maintain, active usage of the puppets puts a strain on his magic for every puppet being actively manipulated - under his own power, he can reliably control only five to ten, ten only being possible if he sends himself into a vulnerable near-catatonic state - as he has to devote some of his magic reserves into controlling it. Running out of magic renders him unable to control his puppets.

Occupation: Captain of the airship Scaphism, travelling merchant

Gear: Being somewhat used to and weary of pirate attacks, Schwarm has taken to keeping a sword with him and wearing a suit of protective leather armour, enchanted to be durable and resistant to both magical and physical far-ranged attacks, though it is decidedly less suited for melee combat.

His main asset is his airship, painted in sky-blue and grey. Being a ship adapted for trade, it has no natural weapons to speak of, but Schwarm invested a lot of money in its passive shield enchantments, ensuring that it is as protected as can be, as well as hiring a few unicorns to help him with the daily task of running the ship and to act as battery emplacements with their magic lasers, if need be. It is not an exceptionally enormous ship, about the size and shape of an average seaborne frigate with gas bags on the masts instead of sails. Its best feature is as a sort of "aircraft carrier". The aircraft in question is his personal fleet of metal hawks, designed in the same fashion as his eagle. When in the vicinity of his ship, Schwarm can siphon off magical energy from the engines, immobilising it and disabling every system except the magical levitation enchantments and gas bags keeping it aloft, but allowing him to be in control of enough energy to power the veritable swarm of carefully engineered metal birds, concealed within the enormous hold of his ship, to attack and incapacitate enemy personnel.

History: Puppet Schwarm was born to a poor family, in the city of Manehatten. Although there were always a lot of ponies around him, he never could make any friends, many not being willing to associate with him because of his low social status. Since young, he'd always wanted a pet, if only to alleviate the crippling loneliness that pervaded his every day.

However, as his parents had logically explained numerous times, a pet would require money to take care of; money they could ill afford. So Schwarm resigned himself to a lifetime of solitude.

However, that changed. He began to work at a toy shop to bring in some money to support his family, since they were poor and he couldn't afford to go to school anyway. He hoped to meet somepony who was willing to be his friend, but nopony that came in ever did. So most of the time, he simply stared at the items on display, wishing that his life would change.

It did. All it took was a hard enough wish and a surge of magic. That day, Schwarm discovered his special talent and got his cutie mark, as well as a pet - a little toy parrot that stuck with him wherever he went.

After that day, he could sit for hours and watch the little parrot fly around. He made it go really high one day, and he soon realised that he wanted to join it in the sky. From that day forward, he had a new goal: Fly.

His youthful dream eventually blossomed into a mature reality as his wishes dictated his goals. He became a travelling merchant at the young age of 19, moving around Equestria with a covered wagon to sell and purchase various goods. He made a steady profit, which he saved up, bit by bit, to an eventually enormous amount. He spent it all one day to facilitate the next step of his dream and his career.

With his profits, he purchased a large new airship, optimised for trade with a large cargo hold for goods. With the newly christened Scaphism, his profit margins increased dramatically, now with a new, faster mode of transportation and a higher cargo capacity. But with his success came another form of hardship: predators.

The sheer efficiency of his travel prompted Schwarm to expand his scope of operations. He began to fly between the furthest ends of the continent, Vanhoover and Fillydelphia, and even to distant lands like Saddle Arabia. In his longest journey, however, he was faced with a pirate attack. Schwarm's ship was not armed at all, since Schwarm himself had never realised just how great a threat piracy could be. He just managed to escape, but not before his ship was shot to a barely-flying wreck, he himself was badly wounded, and his little toy parrot - which had been with him since his foalhood - was destroyed.

The Scaphism found itself limping back to the nearest town to be repaired, and for Schwarm himself to see to his injuries. From that day forth, he was determined to resist any kind of attack like that in future, and with that goal in mind he returned to his hometown and the toy shop his parrot had come from, and commissioned the creation of a fleet of large hawks made with the same design, albeit on a much larger scale and with metal, as his original bird. He threw a great portion of his money, and a lot of durable steel compounds he purchased for this purpose, into ensuring it was done properly. He came out of it with the fleet and an extra bonus from his former employer; a specially designed steel eagle, to replace the hole that his parrot has left in his heart. It didn't quite work, but Schwarm was grateful anyway. He named the eagle Talon.

It wasn't long before he set to the skies again, fully prepared, having made a few more side journeys to purchase shield enchantments and hire crew. The same pirate ship that had menaced him all those years ago encountered him again on the exact same route. But this time, the Scaphism, with its hold of hawks and valiant crew, fought back fiercely, and the pirates were forced to retreat with over half their number incapacitated. Schwarm completed the journey safely, and from then on became a successful merchant with a reputation both for reliability and for combat prowess.

Personality: Schwarm is curious and innovative, always trying to push his powers to their limits to see what they can accomplish - new heights always means more efficiency, about which he cares a lot, often neglecting to consider others' wishes in his pursuit of efficiency. Despite this, he is still a naturally good pony, being generous and caring to his friends... but absolutely ruthless to anyone who would dare to menace him.

Current Home: He spends most of his time on the Scaphism, his only real home.


Last edited by Ician on Sun Jun 22, 2014 9:08 am; edited 3 times in total
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DerLampman

DerLampman


Posts : 30
Join date : 2014-03-23
Location : Republic of the Feelipines

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Name: Mors Vashedan

Race: Unicorn

Age: 22

Alignment: Neutral

Mane: Deep blue.

Coat: Dirty white.

Cutie mark.: He has atrophied eyes in place of his mark.

Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add: None of his spare eyes are functional.

Distinguishing Features: He is constantly covered in bandages to hide the fact that he has excess body parts all over himself, including but not limited to three additional mouths and seven spare eyes. He does not have spare limbs.

Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Aside from standard unicorn levitation, he only has one magical ability - his magic is capable of altering the properties of things. This makes him capable of turning anything or anyone into something that fits his purpose more; however, the process takes more time and effort depending on the complexity of the modification. Living things take at least three times the work to magically modify than nonliving things. Complete conversion of something into another thing takes him days, and when performed on something living, takes months.

In order to get past this massive requirement of sustained magic, he modified himself to have greatly heightened magical reserves and stamina. He also trained in skills that revolve around incapacitation and immobilization, and as a result is adept with using chains and bolas that were modified to sap strength from whomever they bind.

A notable modification he put on himself is his draining aura, which causes him to constantly siphon small amounts of magic from any sources nearby. Unicorns that spend too much time near him find their magic weakened, pegasi slowly lose their flight capabilities, and earth ponies find their physical strength slipping away. The drain takes a very long time to drive ponies beyond the point of recovery, however, so he is generally safe to be around.

Weaknesses: The modifications to his body left it generally unstable, and while Mors can use magic or perform physical activity much longer than most, he cannot withstand the effects of magic from sources other than himself quite as well. The presence of anomalous body parts all over him also make him vulnerable to physical damage. Furthermore, he is exposed and vulnerable when modifying anything using his magic, making it a necessity that he prepares safety measures beforehand.

Occupation: Officially, he has a store selling exotic food, but off the record he is a specialist on the list of Manehatten's law enforcement. He has a tiny chamber below his store of Manehatten, where he performs experiments on those that the law wish to extract information from without mercy. The Manehatten medical system also gives him patients that are beyond normal healthcare as a last resort.

Gear: No matter where he goes, he is constantly covered in bandages, and his bags always contain enough spares to wrap him completely. When he goes out, he dons a long coat and a bag that contains anesthetics, his chains, and three bottles of water.

History: Most who observe Mors Vashedan without his bandages would call him an abomination or an experiment gone horribly wrong, just before the experimentation begins and his appearance becomes the list of their worries. He himself acknowledges the abomination part of his description, but claims that he is the product of an experiment gone horribly right. His grotesque form is a result of his tinkering with biological modification, performed on corpses he managed to sneak away from wherever he could back when he was young.

Even as a colt Mors was already known as a rather intelligent and aloof pony, easy to get along with but impossible to fully understand. To him, everything was a problem to be solved, and most of his enjoyment was derived from getting answers to his questions. Being raised in an orphanage seemed to have had no effect on him; the fact that he had no parents never depressed him or elicited any form of reaction from him. Despite his being different he managed to keep a few friends, though even those that stuck with him were rather distant. He was never completely alienated as he had a knack for cooking that made the other orphans want to stay on his good side.

When Mors hit the age of 17, he left the orphanage and set up a cafeteria selling his own style of what he called "illogical cuisine" in the farthest spot from the busy city center that he could get, and created the experimentation area where he began to gather what carcasses he could. His experimentation resulted in his advancing of his magical abilities, and confirmed that he could indeed alter biological matter. For the first time in his life, he was ecstatic, and immediately began to work on himself. The first attempt was a massive failure, accidentally transplanting assorted body parts onto his body.

In order to hide the fact that he had spare parts on himself, he burned a portion of his cafeteria and pretended that he got burned that he couldn't expose any part of himself out of fear infection and of alienation. The story sold over, and ponies around Manehatten stopped giving him questioning looks after some time.

Meanwhile, the corpses he slowly stacked up were starting to get attention from the places they were disappearing from. When he learned of this, he acted immediately and modified a corpse, inserting a skeleton that he could control with his magic inside. This dummy he framed for the collection of corpses, and the strange situation put him on the law's watch list.

Another incident when he was twenty - one got him his off - record jobs. A pony suspected of being connected to a drug cartel found his way into his cafeteria, and had the misfortune of getting recognized from the news. Mors put him to sleep and got to work on him, getting valuable information as a byproduct. When the police tracked him down, he was perfectly healthy physically but they found that he was in utter terror, and absolutely willing to give up all he knew in exchange for protection from him.

While what he did would normally have raised many eyebrows, the medical examination on said pony found that he was much healthier than he was before he entered Mors' experiments, and the fact that even a hardened pony broke in a day outweighed their concerns. They offered him a deal, that he use his talents for them when asked, in exchange for keeping their noses out of his business. He accepted this deal gladly.

Personality: Mors Vashedan is illogically curious about anything and everything. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the only thing that keeps him waking up in the morning is his endless desire to learn. This curiosity manifests in his constant asking of questions and falling out of conversational flow to observe something that catches his eye.

Mors is apathetic when it comes to anything that he does not find interesting, and completely ignores anything not interesting if something that catches his interest is nearby. He is capable of ignoring almost anything, and at one point has been known to shrug off a laborer falling on him from a scaffolding because of his intent observation of a pigeon.

While he is easy enough to get along with, it is hard to get anything out of him as he prefers asking the questions, not answering. He is either jittery or passive depending on what stage he is in considering the answers to questions in his mind.

Current Home: Manehatten.

Misc: He does not appreciate accusations of cannibalism for some reason. It is the only thing known that visibly bothers him.
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DualThrone
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Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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Shadowfire wrote:
Shadowfire

Then, as promised, character approved.
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DualThrone
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DualThrone


Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

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Ician wrote:
Puppet Schwarn

Der Lampman wrote:
Mors Vashedan

Characters approved.
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The_Pariah

The_Pariah


Posts : 3784
Join date : 2014-03-20
Age : 27

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Name: Panic A. Ndshoc

Race: Pegasus

Age: 28

Alignment: True Neutral

Mane: Light brown, cut short

Coat: Cream

Cutie mark.: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Masks

Extra details that aren’t needed but are nice to add:
Distinguishing Features: Panic is always dressed in a full ringmaster's outfit, often twirling a magician's wand in one of his wings or a hoof.

Specialty (eg. special spells, unique powers etc): Panic is the deliverer of bad news. Literally. He has a network of spies, even unwilling ones, who relay information to him constantly. With this information, he delivers bad news to ponies at the most inconvenient times, often in places that are entirely inappropriate. He also been known to rain on ponies' parade. As a pegasus, he is able to control the weather, and has all their other abilities.

Weaknesses: Panic is a normal pony, and not a very good fighter. Whilst he may know all your weaknesses, he cannot exploit them in a fight. Furthermore, he is relatively weak, and prone to running away if the fighting gets too heavy... after spilling everyone's secrets.

Occupation: Panic is actually a ringmaster, and runs the Cirque de l'horreur, a circus with few performers.

Gear: One “magic” wand that doubles as a short sword.

History: Panic was born to the circus, both his parents working as clowns. Panic grew up around laughter disguising sorrow, and was sceptical from a young age. Wanting to follow in his parents hoofsteps, he became a circus clown. However, his odd knack of insulting literally everyone soon saw him leave that job. Instead, he became a ringmaster, striking out and making his own circus.

There, he met a mare, whose name he has burned from his mind. He loved this mare, and soon they were to be married. However, on the day of their wedding, he discovered her in the bed of his right-hoof man. Disgusted, he threw them out, burning down the church and firing all but his most loyal of supporters.

Renaming his circus ‘Crique de l’horreur’, he proceeded to set up a huge network of spies. These spies fed him with him information, information that he used to embarrass and expose ponies’ darkest secrets. This network extends across the entirety of Equestria, and wherever his circus roams, fear and horror are soon close on their heels.

Personality: Panic enjoys others suffering, often going to great lengths to ensure it. He will stick to the shadows and follow a pony for hours to deliver bad news at the right moment. He will, however, (If he ever finds one) treat somepony he likes with a degree of respect.

Current Home: A caravan on the road.


Last edited by The_Pariah on Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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AurumTempestas

AurumTempestas


Posts : 736
Join date : 2014-03-21
Age : 27
Location : U.S.A.

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Name: Neon Fire

Race: Unicorn

Age: 23

Mane/Tail: a bright neon green, styled like flame.

Coat: Dark, ashy grey

Cutiemark: A ball of neon green flame

DistinguishingFeatures: Her fiery mane and tail. Her bright green eyes.

Specialty: Fire magic. Her favorite spell is a whip made of flames to lash out at an opponent. Fighting. She specializes in using her spear and small shield.

Weaknesses: Water. Being wet will weaken her fire-based magicks. Strength. She i not thestrongest but makes up for it with speed.

Occupation: Freelance Soldier.

Gear: Her light, padded clothing that is enchnted to be fire-proof and quite resistant to tears and cuts. Her spear, which is a family heirloom, passed down from when Nightmare Moon tried to take over, made of Solar Steel, which stays sharp and is extremely resistant to heat. Her shield, which is enchanted to absorb impacts, but she still feels every hit.

History: She was born and raised to the age of sixteen at a farm far from any other town or settlement, her only friend a dog and her brother. She and her brother were taught to fight until age twenty, when their father gave them their gear, her brother got a sword in place of a spear, and trained them with that for another year. Her family was military, so they were expected to be in the guard, but Neon had other plans, spending her time traveling around, helping who she pleases, not being hired but calling it 'doing favors' and in return, ponies gave her bits, food, a place to stay for a while, and other things, as payment or as gratitude. She is simply happy to help others, especially if it involves fighting. She visits her younger brother at Canterlot every once in a while, happy to see him enjoying his own work, and she will even spar with some of the guard at times, just to test their skill.

Personality: Kind, helpful, a bit psychotic when angry, out-going, polite, and she always is happy to be around children.

Current Home: N/A
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DualThrone
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Posts : 1663
Join date : 2014-03-19
Location : Sherwood, OR

OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun Jun 01, 2014 4:57 pm

The_Pariah wrote:
Name: Panic A. Ndshoc
History:There, he met a mare, whose name he has burned from his mind. He loved this mare, and soon they were to be married. However, on the day of their wedding, he discovered her in the bed of his right-hoof man. Disgusted, he threw them out, burning down the church and firing all but his most loyal of supporters.

There's a couple questions that this paragraph invites that I'd sort of like to see answered:
1. He burned down the church because his fiance cheated on him. That sort of extreme reaction implies an incredibly unbalanced person but you've made this character very calculating and rational. How does this sort of action fit with that?
2. So there were no consequences to him burning down a building?
3. "...his most loyal of supporters"? Supporting him in what, exactly? And who was on the other side of the matter, since him having supporters implies that there were supporters of someone or something else?

Quote :
Renaming his circus ‘Crique de l’horreur’, he proceeded to set up a huge network of spies.

4. What's "Crique de l'horreur" mean?
5. So he skips directly from jilted fiance to setting up a network of spies so he can ruin lives? There seems to be no connection between the two things.
6. Also, what in his previous background equipped him with the entire range of spymaster skills? He goes from a clown to a ringmaster to a spymaster but where the first two are at least both circus jobs, there's no apparent connection between being the master of a circus show and managing a network of dozens of spies stretched over thousands of miles.

The reason I'm questioning the history like this when I normally don't is that this character's history doesn't explain him. "Ruthlessly calculating" and "burned down a building in a fit of rage" do not go together. Neither do "fiance cheated on him" and "take sadistic glee in destroying everypony". Finally, the skill set for being a spymaster is totally different than being a ringmaster or anything else. So I'm having a lot of trouble giving the thumbs-up to this character.
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DualThrone
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Posts : 1663
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Location : Sherwood, OR

OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeSun Jun 01, 2014 10:34 pm

AurumTempestas wrote:
Name: Neon Fire

I think you already submitted this character. Regardless, it's approved.
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The_Pariah

The_Pariah


Posts : 3784
Join date : 2014-03-20
Age : 27

OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeMon Jun 02, 2014 6:22 am

DualThrone wrote:
The_Pariah wrote:
Name: Panic A. Ndshoc
History:There, he met a mare, whose name he has burned from his mind. He loved this mare, and soon they were to be married. However, on the day of their wedding, he discovered her in the bed of his right-hoof man. Disgusted, he threw them out, burning down the church and firing all but his most loyal of supporters.

There's a couple questions that this paragraph invites that I'd sort of like to see answered:
1. He burned down the church because his fiance cheated on him. That sort of extreme reaction implies an incredibly unbalanced person but you've made this character very calculating and rational. How does this sort of action fit with that?
2. So there were no consequences to him burning down a building?
3. "...his most loyal of supporters"? Supporting him in what, exactly? And who was on the other side of the matter, since him having supporters implies that there were supporters of someone or something else?

Quote :
Renaming his circus ‘Crique de l’horreur’, he proceeded to set up a huge network of spies.

4. What's "Crique de l'horreur" mean?
5. So he skips directly from jilted fiance to setting up a network of spies so he can ruin lives? There seems to be no connection between the two things.
6. Also, what in his previous background equipped him with the entire range of spymaster skills? He goes from a clown to a ringmaster to a spymaster but where the first two are at least both circus jobs, there's no apparent connection between being the master of a circus show and managing a network of dozens of spies stretched over thousands of miles.

The reason I'm questioning the history like this when I normally don't is that this character's history doesn't explain him. "Ruthlessly calculating" and "burned down a building in a fit of rage" do not go together. Neither do "fiance cheated on him" and "take sadistic glee in destroying everypony". Finally, the skill set for being a spymaster is totally different than being a ringmaster or anything else. So I'm having a lot of trouble giving the thumbs-up to this character.

Perfectly understandable. Cirque de l'horreur, is Circus of Horror. I'll reword it.
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OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeMon Jun 02, 2014 7:32 am

Jet Edge wrote:
Name: Jet Edge

As per changes made and conversation on OOC Roleplay chat, this character is now approved.
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AurumTempestas

AurumTempestas


Posts : 736
Join date : 2014-03-21
Age : 27
Location : U.S.A.

OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeTue Jun 03, 2014 11:28 pm

Name: Petra

Race: Demon

Age: 364

Mane: A dark, stone grey.

Coat: Light grey, like stone.

Cutiemark: A heart carved from white stone, cracked.

Distinguishing Features: When not hiding her demon form, her two six inch horn appear, and her tail becomes a long, spade-tipped demon's tail, though the spade is vaguely shaped like a heart. Her eyes stay a bright, glowing crimson no matter the circumstance. She is quite pretty

Specialty: Her skin, though soft, has inherited her father's stone-like endurance. She inherited seduction from her mother. Good in a fight or in bed.

Weaknesses: She gets really depressed when others see and/or reject her true nature.

Occupation: None

Gear: A dark, beautifully crafted, enchanted obsidian rapier, with a ruby set into the hilt, that glows like her eyes, it's enchantment keeping it bound to her soul and hard as iron, as well as self-repairing if given enough time. She also has a long, black cloak.

History: Born to a gargoyle and a succubus, Petra grew up in Tartarus, though she has escaped multiple times to live in the mortal world. She had wandered both Equestria and Tartarus, learning every escape route between both as she grew older, but her body stayed in it's prime, at age twenty five. She was given her sword by her father, and learned to use it when she was young. She rarely uses it, prefering to feel the satisfaction of punching the crap out of someone, though she rarely has to. She currently wanders Equestria, frequenting Canterlot and Ponyville, them both having their charms, and actually thinks about joining the guard or becoming a mailmare, finding the former exciting and the latter fun.

Personality: Kind, gentle, very flirty, Hates constant idiocy and sexism, but loves intelligent ponies and friendly people.

Current Home: N/A

Misc: Both a Lover and a Fighter
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DualThrone
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Posts : 1663
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OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Empty
PostSubject: Re: OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE)   OC Character Thread 1(THREAD CLOSED: PLEASE POST NEW OCs TO BRAND NEW CHARACTER SHEET THREAD 3 ABOVE) - Page 9 Icon_minitimeThu Jun 05, 2014 4:03 am

AurumTempestas wrote:
Name: Petra

Approved.

Nice to see your nonsense in misc again, Aes. Smile
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